dReam

I'd rather live in my dreams then to live in the real world .
Cos that's the only place where i could still hold yr hands .
That is the only place where i can find happiness and you .
if only i could just die in my dreams .


I can always see you smiling so happily far away from me .
but i can never see it when i'm close to you .
I'd always see u talkin to others happily ,
but frown on me .
What our conversation are left with ,
are just timings and questions .
But never talks of others .


I betrayed my heart and soul ,
in exchange for your freedom and happiness .
I'd rather cry then to see you not smile .
I'd rather be in pain ,
then to see you stress and agitated .
I'd rather die ,
then ever to see you suffer with my bear eyes .


Whatever i say matters no more .
Cos the day u said the truth ,
my heart was dead .
and you didnt care at all .
perhaps . it . was . all . a . mistake .


When the day the ring was lost .
I guess everythin was lost too .
same place , same time , same ppl .
everything's gone . so are you .
it's just been a year . all changed .




i just wanna hold on awhile more .





may i ?

. You are the only one that can make my frozen heart beat once again .

Just one last minute of reminiscing .
I 'd just beg you to do that .

13 . 01 . 07

. a date so bitter to reminisce .
i guess it's no big deal to you anyway . You dont even care about this date . isnt it?
It's no longer the same . It used to be a date of sweetness and happiness .
BUt now . It's no longer there . Just another day for this big damn stupid fool to cry over with .
WHy am i so stupid ? so foolish ? i dunno . perhaps that explains love ...



Breathing in a sense of loneliness ,
heart beat stopped and forgotten after your nonchalant .
I smiled at last although u didn't bother to look .
The happiness i wanted ,
was abandoned at the mercy of your hugs .
When the flames have ceased ,
those sweet memories ,
are long forgotten at a corner .
The streets are so crowded ,
but all i could see was loneliness .
Flashes of memories cant stop ,
Still reminiscing your heart beat ,
and the scent of missing you .
I just dowan to be disturbed .

I wish i could pretend nothing had happened ,
cause all i wanted was just to hold on to you a little longer .
To still believe in your hugs ,
that would always be there for me .
I'm still waiting .
Still reluctant to walk away from it .
If only i could pretend ,
at least pretending could maybe savage something .
YOu said i'm being conceited .
When the worlds of two crashed ,
i was caught in the trap that i set .

I'm just like a ostrich ,
believing time is the only way out .
Time passed ,
just proving how stupid and foolish i can be .
Knowing that ,
your love has long gone with the winds .
What i lost ,
could never be found anymore .

i guess in the end .
All i could pretend ,
was that i un-cuffed a pair of cold handcuffs .








i wish i could pretend too ,
at least that would have lessen my pain .

. A JOB FINALLY .

Went for an interview this afternoon at chinatown there .
Filled up the forms and done in 10 mins .
Cause we know the ppl there , as we worked there last year . hahax .
Chin yee looks nervous thou , mary was suppose to tag along too , but i guess she felt that mark was more important than anythin else i guess .
The job is gonna last for 42 days , one month and one week and 5 days .
2000 plus . i guess . hahax . 12 hours a day . hmmm .


I guess i fell hard for a devil which i thot to be an angel .
YOu made me utterly disappointed today .
your reply . so harsh , that it hurts .
You reali never thot of me before .
i realii didnt mean anythin to u right ?
. I HATE YOU .

YOu really thot you can jus walk away from all this . is it ?
YOu are worse than a devil .
pErhaps my worse mistake .
IS TO FALL FOR U .
you can jus really don care abt anythin , isnt it ?
i wonder how u can do it ?
TEACH ME , WILL YOU ?
i beg u to teach me .

Teach me how to not care about anythin ,
not to care about the one whom u loved before , or have u ever did ?
teach mi how to " fake pretendence " ?
how to be " nonchalant "
how to " BE YOUR GOOD FRIEND " after all this .






e Satan turned a blind eye on the angel ,
the angel turned into a devil ,
stab the satan while it wasnt lookin .
you mus be real good , i must say .

The below information are for all the wandering souls ard me .


WAnted List !!

-Lee Chin Yee
-BoO wenLing
-Lim jIayan
-mary Goh
-me
-and all those wandering souls from our class .


Hey gals n guys ...
It's already 2007 man . so time for u ppl to REALLY consider where to go.
SO being a good soul , below are all the information that you will need , for any sort of preparation , or to think carefully where u wanna go .
PPL WAKE UP !! pls decide carefully where u want to go . ALRIGHT ?

THe O'lvl results will be released DAmN early this year , 9 feb .
Probably due to Chinese new year ?? anyway . all the best for those who retake .


1. PolytechnicS

-THis has got the summarised courses and cut off point from all the polys.

http://www.np.edu.sg/aa/jae.html


-Ngee Ann poly .
They got 5 new courses this yr .

http://www.np.edu.sg/

http://www.np.edu.sg/corpcomm/events_n/index.html#news22


-Nanyang Poly.
They got 6 new courses coming up this year too .

http://www.nyp.edu.sg/

http://www.nyp.edu.sg/aboutNYP/latest_news/2006/six_new_courses/six_new_courses.htm


-Singapore Poly .
Apparently they do not have new courses .

http://www.sp.edu.sg/


-Temasek Poly .

http://www.tp.edu.sg/

For those interested in tourism , they are having a new campus on sentosa for the tourism dip .

http://www.tourismacademy.edu.sg/


-Republic Poly

http://www.rp.edu.sg/

http://www.rp.sg/courses/

THey are also having an open house from 13 jan to 16 jan

http://openhouse.rp.edu.sg/



2. I T E

http://www.ite.edu.sg/ite/index_op.html

The three campus
http://www.ite.edu.sg/college_east/
http://www.ite.edu.sg/college_central/
http://www.ite.edu.sg/college_west/



3. Private or others


-LASALLE-SIA College of the Arts

http://www.lasallesia.edu.sg/secondary.html


-Nanyang Academy of Fine Arts

http://www.nafa.edu.sg/

. Ministry of Education .

http://www.moe.gov.sg/

Btw i notice smth intertestin at the moe website .
It states under " school websites URL "
YOu don have to read the whole of that section , but you'll notice somethin familiar there .

"For example to locate Westwood Secondary School, type www.westwoodsec.moe.edu.sg "
hmmm , strange , isnt it . so mani schs from sg , y ours ? hahax
maybe it was Miss kok . HAhAX



okay ppl , i think that all the information you'll need , don need to thank me k , i'm jus adding on to my good karma . hahaX






if u're the devil in disguise ,
i might have been satan then ...

. 07 . 01 . 2007 .

It's been a month . so fast .
Things and people changed at the speed of lightning .
lightning kills . jus like how u killed me .
One glance , one look , one stare .
YOu didnt even bother to look at me .
PErhaps . it was wrong of me . to love u .
BUT , i never regretted , unlike u .
Am i right to all the things i mentioned before ?

" i'm the most un-impt person to u "
" u nv loved me before "
" you nv cared about me before , even if i died "
" i'm jus nothing to u "


I guess i'm right in saying all these .
cos if not , u really dont even bother to CORRECT ME ?
I put myself into your shoes ,
thinkin about wat's goin on in yr life , and wat's troubling u .
BUT HAVE U ?
You jus dont seem to care , i guess . rite ?
You said : " bud how do yuu know that i've nv tried to wan hui all this? "
" just bcos i din tell yuu anything doesnt mean im not affected by all this.ni ming bai ma.. "


maybe u're reali good in " prEtending & faking innocence "
That's why i jus CANT see what's wrong with you .
I CANT SEE HOW U WANTED TO WAN HUI ; WHEN OBVIOUSLY U'RE BEING SO NONCHALANCE ABOUT ME AND EVERYTHIN ELSE .
I CANT See what u're troubled wif ?
I CANT SEE HOW BADLY U' AFFECTED ... BY ME
maybe i just dont get it . i jus dont understan , why u "look n seem" happy and calm and watever shit over this whole matter . perhaps , u yearned for it to end long ago , is that it ? I know i'm not the greatest person on earth or am i your "the perfect one " . i know someday i'll jus lose you , jus like now .
i think you're jus running away from everythin . ESP ; ME .



Using " duuno " as a pErfEct excuse , to run n avoid everythin .
" i dunno who to face ?? "
" i dunno how to react ?? "
" i dunno wat to say or do ??? "
maybe u think i'm mean . but who's more evil ?
perhaps i neglected your feelings . but i suppose , i hurt more than u do .
And again , u didnt bother to take a look .
Do you really take our memories as " nothing " jus like me ?
or perhaps , u didnt have any happy memories wif me ? is it ?


Time is your best weapon against me . right ?
Let time passed , and finally , u'll get RID of me ?
Then you don't have to answer to anythin , you dont have to make me " NOT feeL so bad , so sad or even WORSE!"
CAn u for once . be yr real self ? or is this the real you ?
Can u stop running away from all this ? or from me ?
I know my tears and sorrows meant nothing to you , watever i do or say wont touched you , or watever that is . not even death .


maybe u jus dowan to bother about me anymore ,
u jus think , saying more will do nothing good , saying watever i'll jus think negatively , so wat's the point in clearing up all those mess , right ?
if u dowan me to jump to any more conclusions , can you stand for your own rights ? can you stop acting pretending like nothing of the hell had happened to yourself or to me . maybe i'm stressing you . but it's already been a MONTH , do you really need such a long time to think ? or to act how to react ?
If u reali dowan to do anythin or say anythin ,
fine , suit you .




tears and sorrows are jus drops of water n plain emotion ,
perhaps that's the way u see it .

if death can lessen my pain ,
god, i would beg you to take me away from this hell .

好朋友 by 罗志祥


像两首节拍不同的歌
却又同时被爱情合奏
旋律勉强着
愉快不能够假装快乐
你心中有宽阔的天空
空气还稀薄
曾经因为等待会改变什么
你总会属于我
但是最后时间证明了
你只喜欢我
你说我比较像你的好朋友
只是不小心拥抱着
你道歉你难过
于是我给你笑容
谁在乎我的心还会不会寂寞

如果爱情是五线谱
我只希望用全音符
吟唱出爱上你
那完整的幸福
当你的心没有耳朵
即使我为你唱着歌
你也只看见我哭了
你说我比较像你的好朋友
只是不小心拥抱着
你道歉你难过
于是我给你笑容
谁在乎我的心还会不会寂寞

曾经因为等待会改变什么
你总会属于我
但是最后时间证明了
你只喜欢我
你说我比较像你的好朋友
只是不小心拥抱着
你道歉你难过
于是我给你笑容
谁在乎我的心ho 还会不会寂寞
你说我是你最好的朋友
却不应该再拥抱着
你退缩你冷漠
于是我放开双手
不在乎我的心会永远的寂寞


If u're free go listen to this song ,
or u can jus listen it here , if u can hear it ???

I didnt wanna show you black face ytd ,
but hearing you going out wif others , and i didnt know abt it .
makes me kinda pissed off .
I KNOW , i have no rights to be pissed off or showing u a black face .
Cos i'm no longer " YOUR WHOEVER "


Do u know how selfish u are ?
Do you know what i am upset about ?
Do you know i'm so disappointed in u ?
I thought u were sad about us ? BUT U WERE NOT !!
All along , u were jus thinking about yrself , yr family , and all others .
BUT NOT ME .
YOu know y ?
Cos i'm the most " UN-IMPORTANT PERSON " in the whole world TO U!!
U never care about me , NEVER !
EVen if i died , i think it's no big deal to you , RITE ?
pardon me , BUT IF IT's NOT THE CASE . PROVE ME WORNG THEN !





I didnt know being so close to you ,
makes me a stranger in the end ...

You say you want to stop being nonchalant about watever that has happened ?
In the end? you still did .
Faking innocence and pretenting as you still are at it !!


NOthing you say now , can let me feel any better .
AND YOU KNOW THAT !!
YOu know what i wan , yet you're depriving me of what i need .
You know totally wat i wan , wat i need the most .
yet you're stopping me , killing me .


ARe U an anGEl or Devil ?
What have i done to deserve this from you ?
Tell me . cos i want to know . WHAT ?
Have i ever treat you bad before ,
have i not taken good care of you ,
have i not been there when u needed me the most ?
HAVE I NOT ?!!!!


Have you forgotten all that you have PROMISED ?
" if ever a day comes , that i've stopped loving u somehow , i'll try to love you back again "
PROMISES ARE JUS BEAUTIFUL LIES !!
Isnt it ?


YOu wont ever know how i feel .
COS u're NOT ME !
YOu dont know the pain of losing someone so precious to you !
YOU DONT !
YOu know the feeling of waking up everyday ,
from a NIGHTMARE ?
you know i have to cry myself to sleep everynight ?
you know how pain it hurts ?
DO YOU KNOW ??


Perhaps i dont know what you're hiding ,
i dont know wat feelings you have or is hiding from me ,
cos u nv told me , u nv wanted to show .




There wont be any more smiles .
Cos u killed them .

. i . miss . you .

New Year 2007 .

New year resolutions :

-Have a temp job
-Have more $$$$
-PS III
-Save money
-Hope all my friends' wishes come true
-Hope u will get well soon , no more sickness
-One last chance
-Hope u can find someone whom u love

; hope all these can really come true .


Mary hse stay-over .
We stayed over at mary hse after countdown .
Played kiddish games , and did kiddish stuff .
But on the overall it's fun.
We watched the countdown at vivo on ch 5 , hoping to catch a glimpse of ahboo. hahaX
Me , chin yee and mary decided to pool in money for toto or 4d .
Cos to OUR veri BIG suprise !!
Jiayan was able to STAY OVER at mary hse . OMG ! mary , u're so lucky !!
"her 1st time " is at your hse lei !! so good .


We reached home at ard 6 am in the morning .
Everybody was tired . sorethroat . snezzing .
guess everyone laughed too much . hahaX .



i guess i'm really your friend now ba .
i hate what we are now , seriously speaking .
i don wanna treat you bad , but i dunno how to treat u .
i wanna hug you , badly . so badly ...
Seeing you smile when others msg u ... And While you frown on receiving mine .
i reali dunno wat to say or how shd i feel .
Am i realli tt bad or tat despicable ?




What have i done , to deserve this from you ?
I jus wanna love you like before ...

Name: Zave
Age: 18
Species: Jupiterian
Location: Unknown
Gender: Unknown
Appearance: Unseen
Characteristics : Dangerous lonely creature
Strong Against : Human's slow Cerebral mind
Weak Against : Humans's Emotions and feelings