Melting ice

2007-11-07T14:14:00.000+08:00

我对你的爱早就已经超越时空界线
不管白昼还是黑夜只要是你每一次的出现
就让所有的回忆都在脑中呈现
浮现你的画面从今天直到永远
就请你让我对你再说一遍对你再说一遍

I dont wish to say more.
Cos i'm starting to see the picture.
What more can i say.
After the tears felt and dried.
If there's one thing i could ask for.
I hope you could remember.
The last kiss that we had.

2007-09-30T16:06:00.000+08:00

HaPpiE 18tH Burfday my BaObei ;-)

loves, truckloads huggs n kisses =)
Muacks

2007-09-26T16:04:00.000+08:00

Happy 18th Birthdae Gal =)

Be more mature okay? haha
Miss euu =)

2007-08-29T10:20:00.000+08:00

The secret that wasnt meant to be known or said.
Hmmm.
Perhaps i shd have stop being so nosey.
But i just wanted to know.

No man could succumb to loneliness.
Not you, not me.
Not anyone else.

But Why?
In the End,
It's still the same, back to square one.
I just cant take it.
Perhaps i lose to him.
WAD e Hell !!

U n I will always have a secret hidden inside.
I dont think i have the key to the secret of yours.

The key that beholds the secret.
Is lost.

2007-08-23T11:07:00.000+08:00

Fake Ignorance .
Fake Pretendence .
Everything was just illusions .

How could i be feeling all this?
How could u just ignore everything ?
How could u just ignore me ?

I'm feeling terrible.
I'll just pretend that i'm happy then.

I'll just pretend that i dont miss u.

2007-08-14T10:35:00.000+08:00

Hmmm.
The war.
Started becos of me ??
haha. hmmm.

I Don wish to see the both of you like that.
u know wad i meant.
But i dont think, things can get back as before.

BUT
Lets just give in a step,
put down the hatred or maybe just the arguments.
Like wad the kids always do,
Shake a hand after a fight, and everything will be alright !!

Peace shall we ?
=)

2007-08-01T09:03:00.000+08:00

The Journey home with my two beloved women.

Although ,
The two does not love me as deeply as before.
BUT , its still a pleasure see-ing this happen.
Its a Happy night for me =)

perhaps love exists no more .
But its sweet memories deep inside.
Thank youS .

Once again, loneliness invades my heart.

2007-07-26T10:31:00.000+08:00

Pls go to sch hao ma,
If euu are sick go see a doc pls ?
Don let me do smth i don wish to. pls ?

Hais.

P.s: i've decided, not to be so selfish.
Thus just forget that request of mine.
Thanks.

2007-07-19T10:12:00.000+08:00

Can i have a small(~~yet selfish~~) request for my birthday?

Can i can i??
PLS pls pls !!! =x

Can i have the both of you as my girlfriendS on my birthday?
Yes, euu and yuu !!!
CAn i? CAn i ??
Please ??

Know i'm very selfish but it's once in a year, my birthday lei!!
CAn ma, can ma??
PLEASE PLEASE !!!??
=x =x =x

2007-07-18T10:11:00.000+08:00

I just cant keep it off my head.
It hurts.
Cos u arent here with me.

I kept thinking of the past.
What wasnt meant to be, wontbe.
just talkin rubbish.

I miss u.
badly

2007-07-12T09:42:00.000+08:00

Love is not ~~everything~~
But u were my everything.
But guess i lost my everything.

felt sad and lonely.
That's all i ever felt.
For now.
Maybe its time to move on.

Born to be lonely.

2007-06-09T15:28:00.000+08:00

I felt so lonely.
So much emptiness buried deep in my heart.
I'm all alone.
I have no wish to talk.
I have no wish to think.
I have no wish.
To do anything.

i dunno wad happen.
but i feel like falling into a deep coma.
I lost everything.
I lost the will to live.
My heart desires for nothing.
I feel like crying.
I'm collapsing.

Save me. or let me die

2007-06-07T22:03:00.000+08:00

hey 飞天小蘑菇 ,

Who ask euu go fight with other mushrooms huh??
Euur attacks all so lousy, of cos lose de ma.
See la, now sick liao !
Quick get more rest hor !!
hmmm, quick drink more water n take care of yrself k?
quickly get well soon oh !!

Ich verpasse euu

2007-06-05T21:05:00.000+08:00

最爱还是你。
这是我的决定。

i miss euu

2007-06-04T16:55:00.000+08:00

Suddenly realise ,
Everything are nothing but just illusions .
I can hold on to nothing.
And nothing belongs to me.
Suddenly felt so alone. again
i am tied down by an invisible rope.
yet i dont struggle to be freed.
deep down in my heart.
There's an empty hole.
will someone fill it up , pls ?

说穿了，我其实什么也没有。什么都不是。
其实，心里最空虚的人，
是我。

we were meant to be , suppose to be .
But i lost u .

2007-06-01T18:39:00.000+08:00

Sometimes,
bad deeds are always deeply remembered.
sweet memories are easily forgotten.
Once trust betrayed.
Never to be believed again.

10 efforts put in = 1 misdeed done
And the efforts are never remembered.
Humans would only remembered the sweet memories that others gave.
In their eyes,
Somehow, only the memories n pain of others
Exist in their heart, mind and soul.

i choose to remember the lather.
Cos i'm not a human.
i choose to remember and reminsce the past . not the ~~pain~~
Even though it's painful,
memories are kept deep in my heart, tied down with torns and chains.
No one is allowed to touch it.
No one.

memories sweet yet painful not . . .

2007-05-27T09:02:00.000+08:00

看来我不懂　不懂你的冷默
我不懂　不懂怎么承受

为什么　现在听你每句话
怎么都会有点心痛

我沉默　只是因为我不要
看到你在他怀中

in the end.
a story with no ending.
Am i suppose to end it this way ?
perhaps i've no rights to say anything.
Tell me, Euur happy with him.
That's all i wanna hear,
from euu .

nth else.
Dont drop a tear no more.

2007-05-27T08:53:00.000+08:00

Now finally i know what's going on .
You dont have to kept it a secret .
It's no big deal anyway .
I knew it .

Euu will go back .
Euu will Turn back once again .
It's just a matter of time.
The cycle never stops .
Cos euu just cant forget ; Euu just simply dont wanna .
Euu dont wan to let go .
Since u dowan to let go .
PLS HOLD ON tightly to euur decision.
If euu reali do cherish and love.
LEt the cycle sTop .

I've got nth much to say .
I pity those days of your perseverance ,
euur tears , euur sorrows .

Now it's ended .
Congrats .
Hope this is the last .
Dont wish to see euu tear anymore.

我祝福你。

2007-05-23T19:11:00.000+08:00

下着雨
让尘气稀释回忆
我靠着你不出声音
看着你
看着斑驳的甜蜜
爱你困住你也困住我自己
我那躲也躲不掉的微妙伤口
隐隐作痛
你那戒也戒不掉的甜蜜借口
也让我精神腐朽
说你爱我
变成一种问候
不如趁早放手
把爱坠落让满地鲜红
说你爱我
变成一种折磨
不用陪我走到最后
我承担不起你的承诺

What do you get?
When you mix sorrows and laughters ?
illusions .
Is everything considered alright now ?
Is this the slient conclusion to everything ?
I'm confused.

Check-mate or dead end ?

2007-05-12T10:30:00.000+08:00

~~Conf~~Used

Possession or love
Lust or romance
jealousy or envy
ignored or angry
fighting or gave up
sad or tired
lonely or forlorn

When will clouds clear ?
When will the hostility end ?
When will the walls of ice break ?
When will there be true friendship ?
When will there be no lies ?
When ?

When there is no me .

2007-05-01T10:03:00.000+08:00

I dowan to choose .
I dowan to end up ,
both of u giving up on me .

Wad am i ?
A toy ?
A companionship ?
A WAD ?

U can jus push me to each other .
Saying giving up on me ?
Is this a one-sided thing ?
Am i someone for yuur to kick ard ?

I HATE to choose .
Why do i always have to make the decision ?
And if i dont make the decision ,
The both of euu will .
By giving up on me ?

I'm selfish , i know .
I'm greedy , i know .
I wan THe BOTH of yuu .
I NEED the two of euu .

But i dowan to end up hurting the two of u .
I dowan to make the wrong decision .
I dowan to see anyone cry .
I dowan to make anyone sad .
I DOWAN !!

Cant there be any other perfect solution to all this ?

2007-04-25T22:19:00.000+08:00

I love euu
I reali do
Te queiro ; je vous veux

2007-04-19T21:43:00.000+08:00

From happiness to sorrow .
From anticipation to disappoinment .
From tears to laughter .
From romance to nothing .
From love to friendship .
From past till now .
From beginning till the end .
From me to euu .

The heart was no longer there .
Euu are not there anymore .
It's just not the same anymore .
Felt so disappointed .
Felt so down and out .
felt like crying out loud .
Felt like falling into tears and sorrows .

I have only myself to blame .

2007-04-16T22:03:00.000+08:00

Hais , pls get well soon okay ?
Drink more water , if not feeling well go see doc k ?
hmmm .
I wanna see the healthy and happy mushroom , okies ?
I miss euu badly .

= '(

Where are euu . Why arent euu in my arms ?

2007-04-14T15:42:00.000+08:00

Part-time / Full-time .
My gal / Euur gal .
Dear / Darling / Laopo / Laogong

i love euu .
i need euu .
i wanna be with euu .
All i ever want is euu .

2007-04-10T18:36:00.000+08:00

为什么，
别人的伤心，你能看在眼里。
为什么，
别人的心痛，你能那么在乎。

难道你是真的感觉不到，
还是你宁愿假装与逃避？

我其实真的不想和你有近距离的接触。
因为我会很辛苦。
我不想牵着不属于我，的小手指。
我其实也很痛苦。
我其实也想逃避。
我真的很想放弃。

我不愿听见你和他的对话。
你和他的甜言密语不用说给我听。
我不想和你在一起时，
你心里却想着他。
我相信你对我说的一切。
但最后却永远都不是我想的那样。

我总觉得，
你好像耍了所有的人，
然后欺骗了自己。
其实，
你自己也不知道你要的是什么。
你真的已经，
不懂什么是爱了。

those broken pieces could never be mend anymore . .

2007-04-08T09:15:00.000+08:00

我不想成为你的负担。
我不要你觉得很内疚。
我不希望看到你辛苦。
我知道你很难受。
我知道你很烦恼。

做出一个你不会后悔的选择吧。
Be with the one ,
who euu really missed .
That euu really need .
That euu really love .
Think carefully .
If euu really want him back .

飞天小猪，cheerup k ?
remember no matter wad happens , i'll always be here .
= ))

2007-04-05T19:05:00.001+08:00

因为害怕，因为担心。
所以远离，然后逃避。
明明相爱，却被阻碍。
因为过错，留下伤痕。
不想回头，不想继续。
忍住无奈，抱着期望。
慢慢等待，只想证明。

我这一次，真的是很认真的。

Don't i deserve a try , darling ?

2007-04-04T10:23:00.000+08:00

幸福真的不容易
在你的背景有我爱你
我可以陪你去看星星
不用再多说明
我就要和你在一起
我不想
又再一次和你分离
我多么想每一次的美丽
是因为你

What more should i say ,
What more should i do .
To make euu mine ?

vous pouvoir être mon amie . .

2007-04-01T04:41:00.000+08:00

I waited and waited .
Thought i could see u and acc u for dinner .
But ended up , euu went dinner with him .
hmmm .

Somehow ,
I wasnt convinced that u said u dont love him or like him .
It just didnt seem that way .
Maybe i'm just jealous .
That's why i'm talking rubbish here .

I felt like tears dropping when u said u just reach home .
It was 12 am already .
From hoping to waiting to frustration .
Yet i cant do anything .
Cos i'm not your whoever .
All i can do is to wait for euu to give me a call .

I dont understand .
Do euu really want to be with him ?
Just because euu wanna stop thinkin abt all that stuff ,
Cos u wanna relax ?
Cos u wanna put an end to it all ?
Cos ...
Euu dowan to love me anymore ?

Sometimes ,
I get hurted by euu easily .
When u say u were jealous of me and chinyee was jus a joke .
But although in the end ,
euu were really jealous .
Cos if euu were jealous ,
that means euu care , euu care abt me ?
But ...
hais , forget it .

What can i do , to make euu mine ?

2007-03-31T22:20:00.000+08:00

Somehow ,
From those eyes of yours ,
i sense something .
Seems like euu have something euu wanna tell me .
maybe i'm thinkin too much .
But i think i saw tears in yr eyes .

I'm sorry ,
perhaps i made euu felt "jealous" again ?
But this time is diff target . haha
i don like her , don worry .
What i did was jus to tease euu and to test euu out.

But u did seem jealous though , or did u jus pretend to be ?
But when i get close with her , euu turned away ?
Euu even tried to get back on me , by calling bb ? haha
How could u ever though that i like her ?

When euu know ,
That deep down in my heart .
There's jus someone that i want badly .
Only .
truthfully .
Solely .

Euu know that clearly.

Euu know who i want . .

2007-03-30T10:54:00.000+08:00

It Ended .

Even without me knowing .
I cherish and protect .
Love and dote on .
In the end .

You left again .

I didnt know , all along .
I made euu felt that way .
I'm sorry .
Cos all along , everything seems so blurred .
I wasnt even sure ,
whether u want me .

I wanted to give up .
Stop waiting ,
Stop hoping .
Cos somehow ,
deep in your heart ,
I think i wasnt there .

I felt the same way as euu did .
Same as two years ago .
When euu were with him .
I told myself .
What if history repeats again ?

But i told myself ,
I'm sure ,
Very sure ,
and firm this time .
All i wanna is euu .
I wasnt this sure two years back .
but this time .
I ONLY want euU . . .

What's the point of saying all this now ?
It's all over .

我祝福你和他

i cried

2007-03-23T22:40:00.000+08:00

I sat down alone .
Nobody had notice i was down .
I had long forgotten .
No matter how much i cherish .
You will still leave me .
I still cant accept the fact .
How did it end up this way .
Without you ,
I have nothing ,
I am nothing .

That day on the way home .
I cried .
Couldnt stop it from falling .
I could only walk on .
I can yearn for nothing more .
What more can i say , my babe .
What more can i do , my precious .
All i wish ,
is just to let you hear .

Darling, I love you .

I didnt bear to let euu leave . 520

2007-03-22T18:15:00.000+08:00

I'm confused .
I dunno wat to do , how to react .
I dunno shd i keep holding on , shd i keep waiting .
Waiting for the impossible to become possible .
Are there still miracles ?

I put my last hopes all on you .
Athough there will never be a happy ending .
Just before i spread my wings to fly ,
Then i realise,

It's all but just a beautiful dream .

It happened too fast .
Ended too fast .
Reacted too slow .

It is just like what euu proposed before ?
Not a relationship , but there will still be love n care .
I dont want that .
Say i'm selfish , but this time i really want someone to belong to me wholeheartedly .
I want you .
To be my one and only .
Just you and me ,
In our little world .

I wanna love you , I want EuU . . .

fell

2007-03-21T10:36:00.000+08:00

I hate the no. 13 and 18 .

I thought to myself ,
thinking maybe god took pity on me .
Finally the clouds starts to clear ,
and that i can finally start to see the clear blue skies .
Maybe this time i could start anew again .
Maybe this time ,
i could really find the happiness that i lost .
Maybe . . .
this time ...

i could smile once again .

I thought . . . i really thought it's gonna be like that .

Pardon me, god , for saying this .
but i know god wont be that nice to me .

Sent me to heaven ,
kick me back down to hell .
" Do i not deserve a place in heaven , my god ? "
What have i done to deserve this . I just wanna be loved and to love .
Have i had too much sins that i wont be able to be released of .
Had i really done anything wrong ?
All i want .
Was just to be in love .

Tell me wat to do , my god , my lords .
Do i really have to be tormented in hell ,
and guard the gate of hell all my life ?

Can't the dark clouds clear ?
Can't the pain stop ?
Can't the rainy season go away ?
Can't i fall in love , again ?

Lost a place in poly , lost the love .
Lost everything .
I lose to you , my god .
I dowan to fight anymore . I dowan to struggle anymore .
I dowan anythin anymore .

Being a Cerberus it's no big deal anyway .

fallen

2007-03-21T10:04:00.000+08:00

友情与爱情
有时只有一线之差。
关心与爱护
两者都能做到。
但是，
相差在于感觉。
你真正要的，
到底是朋友的，
关心与照顾。
还是爱人的，
体贴与爱护？

人类都是自私的。
有些话语，
人类们说的很容易，
但是跟本就没有在乎到另一方的感受。

外星人的关心，不是表面的。
外星人的爱护，不只是话语，不只是偶尔。
外星人不会什么都不管。
只是，
外星人的伤心，你看不到。
外星人的无奈，你体会不了。

“ 能不能不做你的朋友 ”

fallen from the heaven to helll ....

2007-03-14T07:18:00.000+08:00

Darlin ,

Happy White Valentine's Day

P.S : I love You 520

freedom

2007-03-13T09:30:00.000+08:00

I gave you freedom ,
to spread your wings and fly .

I gave you freedom ,
to search for your dreams and soar up high .

I gave you freedom ,
to let you be who you wanna be .

I gave you freedom ,
to choose what you wanna have .

I gave you freedom ,
to whatever you wanted .

I gave you freedom .
I gave you ,

Your rightfully freedom .

and you left .

forgotten . . .

2007-03-05T09:51:00.000+08:00

慢慢忘记所有回忆
一点一滴曾经甜蜜
过往热情早已淡忘
以往笑容湾下成悲
流下眼泪化成终点
回头一看只剩空虚
转变太快无法释怀
疲倦的心无奈放弃
雨季化晴何时会到
抛弃承诺忘记回忆
慢慢等待雨过天晴

永远的守护使者，我当不成。
并不是我失职，而是我再也不能做你的那个守护使者。
从来没怨过你，因为我相信这也不是你所要的。
或许一开始，这一切都是一场美丽的梦境。
我们的爱情，也许是一个错误的意外。
你疲惫的心，我能理解。
给我一点时间，我想，
我应该可以慢慢忘记，慢慢松手。

谢谢你，
让我爱过你。

2007-03-03T13:38:00.001+08:00

42 days of job , Finally ended .

I didnt feel very sad about those master leaving ,
unlike them ( chin yee , mary, jiayan ) .
They teared like hell when we were at the airport sending the masters off.
I dont cry when ppl leave me ,
unless they are someone very dearly precious to me .

" 42 days with a stranger , a special bond is created "
Perhaps this explains why they couldnt bear to let the masters leave .

After this job , i guess they might have changed alot .
Their mindset towards these china-ppl , might change quite abit .
Esp for jiayan , she always use to dislike and discriminate these ppl .
But i guess seeing how see teared for her master ,
i guess she wont do that anymore .
Or perhaps not .

Getting posting results on the 6.
4 more days ....

510 days with a stranger . bond broken .

2007-02-18T00:03:00.000+08:00

Happy Chinese New Year !!

sha gua

2007-02-17T22:23:00.000+08:00

不要说
这全部都是谎言
说时间会让我忘记一切
那天离别留下的痛
已经减小为平静
可是对你的思念
却越来越无法停止
虽然知道
不会那么简单
虽然雨季也已经过去
还是不习惯没你的日子

我依然深爱着你
我依然渴望着你
失去了你以后
世界都停止了转动
就算像一个傻瓜
我都不在乎
终于可以了解
在我的心里
只有你

不要听
这全部都是谎言
说已经忘了你的那句话
只害怕微不足道的
那颗心再被伤害
心被背叛了话语
要我怎么能忘记你
只去回想你的那些任性
这样努力想要忘记你
思念是永不停息的旋律

我依然深爱着你
我依然渴望着你
失去了你以后
世界都停止了转动
就算像一个傻瓜
我都不在乎
终于可以明白
在我的心里
只有你

我
好想再把你
抱进我的怀抱
永远的不放手守护你
其实
我的那颗心从来
都不曾离你而去
仿佛美好时光不曾走远
静静的
停在那一天
在我小小的怀里
找不到一丝安慰
为什么当我失去你以后才能明白

But i love you everyday
这一生我的
灵魂只属于你
知道我在这里等你
See you once again MY Love

For you , my dear .
I'd rather be a fool .

2007-02-14T23:26:00.000+08:00

Happy Valentine's Day

. I . Love . You .

13

2007-02-13T00:00:00.000+08:00

Dear ,

I Still Love You Deeply .

One year And Seven Months .

god

2007-02-10T23:50:00.000+08:00

God ,

Please let her get into the poly that she wants .
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE !!!!
I beg you please let her get into poly .

Amen .

in the end

2007-02-09T08:27:00.001+08:00

It starts with . . .

One thing
I don’t know why
It doesn’t even matter how hard i try
Keep that in mind
I designed this rhyme
To explain in due time
All I know
time is a valuable thing
Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings
Watch it count down to the end of the day
The clock ticks life away
It’s so unreal
Didn’t look out below
Watch the time go right out the window
Trying to hold on
but didn’t even know
Wasted it all just to
Watch you go
I kept everything inside and even though I tried
it all fell apart
What it meant to me
will eventually
be a memory of a time when

I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter

One thing
I don’t know why
It doesn’t even matter how hard i try
Keep that in mind
I designed this rhyme
To remind myself how
I tried so hard
In spite of the way you were mocking me
Acting like I was part of your property
Remembering all the times you fought with me
I’m surprised it got so far
Things aren’t the way they were before
You wouldn’t even recognize me anymore
Not that you knew me back then
But it all comes back to me
In the end
You kept everything inside
and even though I tried
it all fell apart
What it meant to me
will eventually
be a memory of a time when

I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter

I've put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
And for all this
There’s only one thing you should know

I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter

In the end ,
I lost you .

slp

2007-02-02T00:04:00.000+08:00

I dreamt of you last night again .
probably because i cried myself to sleep again .
If only the both of us could be in the same dream .
BUt , so what ?
To you , probably it's a nightmare or watever .
I'd rather wished i never wake up .
Cos only in there i can have you ,
Only there , can i find happiness , love , and most importanly ,
You .

I guess dreams is the best gift god could have ever gave me , besides memories , and u .
perhaps god took pity on me .
I actually felt my heart beating again .
so fast , so real , so true .
At that moment i thot i was alive again .
i thought . we were like last time again .
but it's just a dream .

all i look forward to everyday .
is to sleep .

dreams

2007-01-30T23:56:00.000+08:00

dReam

I'd rather live in my dreams then to live in the real world .
Cos that's the only place where i could still hold yr hands .
That is the only place where i can find happiness and you .
if only i could just die in my dreams .

I can always see you smiling so happily far away from me .
but i can never see it when i'm close to you .
I'd always see u talkin to others happily ,
but frown on me .
What our conversation are left with ,
are just timings and questions .
But never talks of others .

I betrayed my heart and soul ,
in exchange for your freedom and happiness .
I'd rather cry then to see you not smile .
I'd rather be in pain ,
then to see you stress and agitated .
I'd rather die ,
then ever to see you suffer with my bear eyes .

Whatever i say matters no more .
Cos the day u said the truth ,
my heart was dead .
and you didnt care at all .
perhaps . it . was . all . a . mistake .

When the day the ring was lost .
I guess everythin was lost too .
same place , same time , same ppl .
everything's gone . so are you .
it's just been a year . all changed .

i just wanna hold on awhile more .

may i ?

2007-01-28T23:54:00.000+08:00

. You are the only one that can make my frozen heart beat once again .

2007-01-13T23:59:00.000+08:00

Just one last minute of reminiscing .
I 'd just beg you to do that .

jia zhuang

2007-01-13T12:10:00.000+08:00

13 . 01 . 07

. a date so bitter to reminisce .
i guess it's no big deal to you anyway . You dont even care about this date . isnt it?
It's no longer the same . It used to be a date of sweetness and happiness .
BUt now . It's no longer there . Just another day for this big damn stupid fool to cry over with .
WHy am i so stupid ? so foolish ? i dunno . perhaps that explains love ...

Breathing in a sense of loneliness ,
heart beat stopped and forgotten after your nonchalant .
I smiled at last although u didn't bother to look .
The happiness i wanted ,
was abandoned at the mercy of your hugs .
When the flames have ceased ,
those sweet memories ,
are long forgotten at a corner .
The streets are so crowded ,
but all i could see was loneliness .
Flashes of memories cant stop ,
Still reminiscing your heart beat ,
and the scent of missing you .
I just dowan to be disturbed .

I wish i could pretend nothing had happened ,
cause all i wanted was just to hold on to you a little longer .
To still believe in your hugs ,
that would always be there for me .
I'm still waiting .
Still reluctant to walk away from it .
If only i could pretend ,
at least pretending could maybe savage something .
YOu said i'm being conceited .
When the worlds of two crashed ,
i was caught in the trap that i set .

I'm just like a ostrich ,
believing time is the only way out .
Time passed ,
just proving how stupid and foolish i can be .
Knowing that ,
your love has long gone with the winds .
What i lost ,
could never be found anymore .

i guess in the end .
All i could pretend ,
was that i un-cuffed a pair of cold handcuffs .

i wish i could pretend too ,
at least that would have lessen my pain .

2007-01-09T20:27:00.000+08:00

. A JOB FINALLY .

Went for an interview this afternoon at chinatown there .
Filled up the forms and done in 10 mins .
Cause we know the ppl there , as we worked there last year . hahax .
Chin yee looks nervous thou , mary was suppose to tag along too , but i guess she felt that mark was more important than anythin else i guess .
The job is gonna last for 42 days , one month and one week and 5 days .
2000 plus . i guess . hahax . 12 hours a day . hmmm .

I guess i fell hard for a devil which i thot to be an angel .
YOu made me utterly disappointed today .
your reply . so harsh , that it hurts .
You reali never thot of me before .
i realii didnt mean anythin to u right ?
. I HATE YOU .

YOu really thot you can jus walk away from all this . is it ?
YOu are worse than a devil .
pErhaps my worse mistake .
IS TO FALL FOR U .
you can jus really don care abt anythin , isnt it ?
i wonder how u can do it ?
TEACH ME , WILL YOU ?
i beg u to teach me .

Teach me how to not care about anythin ,
not to care about the one whom u loved before , or have u ever did ?
teach mi how to " fake pretendence " ?
how to be " nonchalant "
how to " BE YOUR GOOD FRIEND " after all this .

e Satan turned a blind eye on the angel ,
the angel turned into a devil ,
stab the satan while it wasnt lookin .
you mus be real good , i must say .

poly info

2007-01-08T12:42:00.000+08:00

The below information are for all the wandering souls ard me .

WAnted List !!

-Lee Chin Yee
-BoO wenLing
-Lim jIayan
-mary Goh
-me
-and all those wandering souls from our class .

Hey gals n guys ...
It's already 2007 man . so time for u ppl to REALLY consider where to go.
SO being a good soul , below are all the information that you will need , for any sort of preparation , or to think carefully where u wanna go .
PPL WAKE UP !! pls decide carefully where u want to go . ALRIGHT ?

THe O'lvl results will be released DAmN early this year , 9 feb .
Probably due to Chinese new year ?? anyway . all the best for those who retake .

1. PolytechnicS

-THis has got the summarised courses and cut off point from all the polys.

http://www.np.edu.sg/aa/jae.html

-Ngee Ann poly .
They got 5 new courses this yr .

http://www.np.edu.sg/

http://www.np.edu.sg/corpcomm/events_n/index.html#news22

-Nanyang Poly.
They got 6 new courses coming up this year too .

http://www.nyp.edu.sg/

http://www.nyp.edu.sg/aboutNYP/latest_news/2006/six_new_courses/six_new_courses.htm

-Singapore Poly .
Apparently they do not have new courses .

http://www.sp.edu.sg/

-Temasek Poly .

http://www.tp.edu.sg/

For those interested in tourism , they are having a new campus on sentosa for the tourism dip .

http://www.tourismacademy.edu.sg/

-Republic Poly

http://www.rp.edu.sg/

http://www.rp.sg/courses/

THey are also having an open house from 13 jan to 16 jan

http://openhouse.rp.edu.sg/

2. I T E

http://www.ite.edu.sg/ite/index_op.html

The three campus
http://www.ite.edu.sg/college_east/
http://www.ite.edu.sg/college_central/
http://www.ite.edu.sg/college_west/

3. Private or others

-LASALLE-SIA College of the Arts

http://www.lasallesia.edu.sg/secondary.html

-Nanyang Academy of Fine Arts

http://www.nafa.edu.sg/

. Ministry of Education .

http://www.moe.gov.sg/

Btw i notice smth intertestin at the moe website .
It states under " school websites URL "
YOu don have to read the whole of that section , but you'll notice somethin familiar there .

"For example to locate Westwood Secondary School, type www.westwoodsec.moe.edu.sg "
hmmm , strange , isnt it . so mani schs from sg , y ours ? hahax
maybe it was Miss kok . HAhAX

okay ppl , i think that all the information you'll need , don need to thank me k , i'm jus adding on to my good karma . hahaX

if u're the devil in disguise ,
i might have been satan then ...

2007-01-07T13:39:00.000+08:00

. 07 . 01 . 2007 .

It's been a month . so fast .
Things and people changed at the speed of lightning .
lightning kills . jus like how u killed me .
One glance , one look , one stare .
YOu didnt even bother to look at me .
PErhaps . it was wrong of me . to love u .
BUT , i never regretted , unlike u .
Am i right to all the things i mentioned before ?

" i'm the most un-impt person to u "
" u nv loved me before "
" you nv cared about me before , even if i died "
" i'm jus nothing to u "

I guess i'm right in saying all these .
cos if not , u really dont even bother to CORRECT ME ?
I put myself into your shoes ,
thinkin about wat's goin on in yr life , and wat's troubling u .
BUT HAVE U ?
You jus dont seem to care , i guess . rite ?
You said : " bud how do yuu know that i've nv tried to wan hui all this? "
" just bcos i din tell yuu anything doesnt mean im not affected by all this.ni ming bai ma.. "

maybe u're reali good in " prEtending & faking innocence "
That's why i jus CANT see what's wrong with you .
I CANT SEE HOW U WANTED TO WAN HUI ; WHEN OBVIOUSLY U'RE BEING SO NONCHALANCE ABOUT ME AND EVERYTHIN ELSE .
I CANT See what u're troubled wif ?
I CANT SEE HOW BADLY U' AFFECTED ... BY ME
maybe i just dont get it . i jus dont understan , why u "look n seem" happy and calm and watever shit over this whole matter . perhaps , u yearned for it to end long ago , is that it ? I know i'm not the greatest person on earth or am i your "the perfect one " . i know someday i'll jus lose you , jus like now .
i think you're jus running away from everythin . ESP ; ME .

Using " duuno " as a pErfEct excuse , to run n avoid everythin .
" i dunno who to face ?? "
" i dunno how to react ?? "
" i dunno wat to say or do ??? "
maybe u think i'm mean . but who's more evil ?
perhaps i neglected your feelings . but i suppose , i hurt more than u do .
And again , u didnt bother to take a look .
Do you really take our memories as " nothing " jus like me ?
or perhaps , u didnt have any happy memories wif me ? is it ?

Time is your best weapon against me . right ?
Let time passed , and finally , u'll get RID of me ?
Then you don't have to answer to anythin , you dont have to make me " NOT feeL so bad , so sad or even WORSE!"
CAn u for once . be yr real self ? or is this the real you ?
Can u stop running away from all this ? or from me ?
I know my tears and sorrows meant nothing to you , watever i do or say wont touched you , or watever that is . not even death .

maybe u jus dowan to bother about me anymore ,
u jus think , saying more will do nothing good , saying watever i'll jus think negatively , so wat's the point in clearing up all those mess , right ?
if u dowan me to jump to any more conclusions , can you stand for your own rights ? can you stop acting pretending like nothing of the hell had happened to yourself or to me . maybe i'm stressing you . but it's already been a MONTH , do you really need such a long time to think ? or to act how to react ?
If u reali dowan to do anythin or say anythin ,
fine , suit you .

tears and sorrows are jus drops of water n plain emotion ,
perhaps that's the way u see it .

if death can lessen my pain ,
god, i would beg you to take me away from this hell .

good frien of urs

2007-01-06T11:07:00.000+08:00

好朋友 by 罗志祥

像两首节拍不同的歌
却又同时被爱情合奏
旋律勉强着
愉快不能够假装快乐
你心中有宽阔的天空
空气还稀薄
曾经因为等待会改变什么
你总会属于我
但是最后时间证明了
你只喜欢我
你说我比较像你的好朋友
只是不小心拥抱着
你道歉你难过
于是我给你笑容
谁在乎我的心还会不会寂寞

如果爱情是五线谱
我只希望用全音符
吟唱出爱上你
那完整的幸福
当你的心没有耳朵
即使我为你唱着歌
你也只看见我哭了
你说我比较像你的好朋友
只是不小心拥抱着
你道歉你难过
于是我给你笑容
谁在乎我的心还会不会寂寞

曾经因为等待会改变什么
你总会属于我
但是最后时间证明了
你只喜欢我
你说我比较像你的好朋友
只是不小心拥抱着
你道歉你难过
于是我给你笑容
谁在乎我的心ho 还会不会寂寞
你说我是你最好的朋友
却不应该再拥抱着
你退缩你冷漠
于是我放开双手
不在乎我的心会永远的寂寞

If u're free go listen to this song ,
or u can jus listen it here , if u can hear it ???

I didnt wanna show you black face ytd ,
but hearing you going out wif others , and i didnt know abt it .
makes me kinda pissed off .
I KNOW , i have no rights to be pissed off or showing u a black face .
Cos i'm no longer " YOUR WHOEVER "

Do u know how selfish u are ?
Do you know what i am upset about ?
Do you know i'm so disappointed in u ?
I thought u were sad about us ? BUT U WERE NOT !!
All along , u were jus thinking about yrself , yr family , and all others .
BUT NOT ME .
YOu know y ?
Cos i'm the most " UN-IMPORTANT PERSON " in the whole world TO U!!
U never care about me , NEVER !
EVen if i died , i think it's no big deal to you , RITE ?
pardon me , BUT IF IT's NOT THE CASE . PROVE ME WORNG THEN !

I didnt know being so close to you ,
makes me a stranger in the end ...

2007-01-04T13:55:00.000+08:00

You say you want to stop being nonchalant about watever that has happened ?
In the end? you still did .
Faking innocence and pretenting as you still are at it !!

NOthing you say now , can let me feel any better .
AND YOU KNOW THAT !!
YOu know what i wan , yet you're depriving me of what i need .
You know totally wat i wan , wat i need the most .
yet you're stopping me , killing me .

ARe U an anGEl or Devil ?
What have i done to deserve this from you ?
Tell me . cos i want to know . WHAT ?
Have i ever treat you bad before ,
have i not taken good care of you ,
have i not been there when u needed me the most ?
HAVE I NOT ?!!!!

Have you forgotten all that you have PROMISED ?
" if ever a day comes , that i've stopped loving u somehow , i'll try to love you back again "
PROMISES ARE JUS BEAUTIFUL LIES !!
Isnt it ?

YOu wont ever know how i feel .
COS u're NOT ME !
YOu dont know the pain of losing someone so precious to you !
YOU DONT !
YOu know the feeling of waking up everyday ,
from a NIGHTMARE ?
you know i have to cry myself to sleep everynight ?
you know how pain it hurts ?
DO YOU KNOW ??

Perhaps i dont know what you're hiding ,
i dont know wat feelings you have or is hiding from me ,
cos u nv told me , u nv wanted to show .

There wont be any more smiles .
Cos u killed them .

i miss uu

2007-01-02T23:18:00.000+08:00

. i . miss . you .

2007-01-01T19:32:00.000+08:00

New Year 2007 .

New year resolutions :

-Have a temp job
-Have more $$$$
-PS III
-Save money
-Hope all my friends' wishes come true
-Hope u will get well soon , no more sickness
-One last chance
-Hope u can find someone whom u love

; hope all these can really come true .

Mary hse stay-over .
We stayed over at mary hse after countdown .
Played kiddish games , and did kiddish stuff .
But on the overall it's fun.
We watched the countdown at vivo on ch 5 , hoping to catch a glimpse of ahboo. hahaX
Me , chin yee and mary decided to pool in money for toto or 4d .
Cos to OUR veri BIG suprise !!
Jiayan was able to STAY OVER at mary hse . OMG ! mary , u're so lucky !!
"her 1st time " is at your hse lei !! so good .

We reached home at ard 6 am in the morning .
Everybody was tired . sorethroat . snezzing .
guess everyone laughed too much . hahaX .

i guess i'm really your friend now ba .
i hate what we are now , seriously speaking .
i don wanna treat you bad , but i dunno how to treat u .
i wanna hug you , badly . so badly ...
Seeing you smile when others msg u ... And While you frown on receiving mine .
i reali dunno wat to say or how shd i feel .
Am i realli tt bad or tat despicable ?

What have i done , to deserve this from you ?
I jus wanna love you like before ...

new year's eve

2006-12-31T17:54:00.000+08:00

New Year's Eve

Jus another boring festive to get done and over with .
Why does ppl always look forward to new year ?
Everythin's the same , everyone looks the same .
" NEW YEAR " : it comes everytime the earth rotates once ard the sun .
So wat's the great deal man ?
WHy celebrate ? cos earth still exist? hmmm .

Later goin mary hse to " countdown " . sianx .
Btw ahboo , who u heard from abt goin to marina thingy??

-Mary
-chin yee
-jiayan
-ME
.these are the ppl who will be at mary hse later
infact , chin yee's already there . hmmm. omg

Ever wondered why humans "countdown" ?
are they actually counting down to that festive or is it to their death instead.
when the countdown reaches "1" will somethin happen ?
Will humans still exist ? is the earth still rotating .
hmmm . pardon me . i've been thinkin too much again .

u seemed to be alot better le .
hope so . sick still wan go out . sort .
ask u go see doc . say i siao .
eat panadol . until become like eatin staple food .
jus tt it's not full . and u'll die faster .
everyday sick . u no sianx ar . i see oso sianX .

I'm jus startin to think and see carefully .
the reason to why . u're running away from all these . running away from me.
the ans why you arent sad or touched . unmoved . dead .
and why u still can be u . so calm . as if nth happened .
i know . onli now .
perhaps i cant see yr sorrows n tears . but there's one thing i know n can see.
i'm not that important to u .
maybe that's the reason why . maybe i was wrong . wrong from the very beginning .

I think there's nothin much more to say .
i plunged while u floated .
congrats .

when everythin comes to an end .
you will know the true meaning of love .

2006-12-30T16:18:00.000+08:00

DeathNote 2 "continuation"

Hmmm , hey so how did i do wif the intro of deathnote ??
NICeeee ?!? hahax , give some feedbacks ma !
hmmm, today i'm back wif more photos from deathnote .
ALSO , smth you ppl shd be VERY interested in , cos i found some very interesting photos for deathnote !! haha

1. Wanna know wat you will get by mixing "brokeback mountain" and "deathnote" ?

2. Wanna know how L was chosen (the actor) ?
Hahax . Below are the ans to your long awaited qtns!!

P.s: "i'm not really that bo liao okay? jus sianx k? "

NOte:

if you guys, and gals love L or Kira(light), pls do not continue to watch and read the following content !! I mean it (i'm really very serious ) !!

1. " Brokeback Cum DeathNote "
okay, the main ppl of the " brokeback cum deathnote "

L .

Light aka Kira .

Pls do not think that i'm siao in saying they are gays !! k!!
And be REALLY "surprised" tat L's actually interested in kira?? HAHaX

actually seriously speaking , don you ppl feel they actually look compatible ?
see the pic above ^ [L's takin a peek at Light(kira) hahax ]

Okay you ppl ready for the " SHOCK " of your life ??

Love and hate , how sweet ...

a romantic kiss ?

LOVE bItes .. OMG !!

These pics are taken from the manga (not all) and seriously , dont you think they loved each other ? How sweet , if they were to be together ? hahax !!
okay , one last one to prove L's a gay .
( do not scream !! )

OMG , saw that ??
okay , it's not from the manga , BUT still the one who draws this think he's gay too !!

MIW (Men in White )
HahaX , don they look like a couple ?? hmmm

Okay , this might seem familiar to many of you.
Those who watched DeathNote 1 will know .
But that's not the main point .
They actually like the same flavour n brand of that cracker .
OMG !! cinamon and onion i think ??

Conclusion :
I think i've provided you guys with enough evidence .
so for the rest , figure it out yrself .
whether if it's really " brokeback "
HahaX

2. How L was Chosen ?
Seriously speaking if you have take a look at how he looked like ,
before becoming L , u mus be wondering y they chosen him ?

This is the actor for L .
I forgot wat's the name le .
anyway , don you think he differs too much from the real "L"

They are actually the same person you know ?
look so diff rite ?
all thanks to make up man ! hahax

Okay let us do a simple experiment !!

L .
Before any makeup or anythin .

Manga version of L .
So let's use this as a guideline to re-create L .

So wat would we get by mixing this two together ?
want to guess ...
taking the not like L , L . Add to the Manga L .
wat will we have ?
guess guess guess guess guess

Okay , for the fans of L , do not KILL ME k !!

Hahax ...

.................................................

................................................

TA DA !!!

L Plus Manga L equals = L
simple Maths rite??
Hahax !!!

(Disclaimer)
The above info and pic does not represent the true fact of chosing tt guy as L.
All pics and info are all copyrighted by Seifer ( which is me!! ).

Btw hope you guys like what i did to L . hahax . impossible !!
Any feedback or comments , pls write at tag board , thanks .

Yr fever better ? Go see doc k ? hais , anythin call me , if u can .
PLS !! take care of yrself k? drink more water .

i'm missing you . real bad ...

dn 2

2006-12-29T12:50:00.000+08:00

TAIWAN EARTHQUAKE : 6.7
Internet's so boring for the past few days .
Cos the earthquake in taiwan was so powerful that it even heavily damaged the cables underneath the sea , so powerful sia !!
The whole of pacific area , us, korea , japan , asia are all affected badly.
Those who are more lucky , like me!! Can still use the internet jus at a slower pace.
Those who are VERy unlucky, are unable to get online at all . hmmm
So thus nobody's online, nobody's blogging, nobody ... hmmm

Countdown to new year ???
Anyway , it's three more days to new year .
This year , i dont think i'll be going for any countdown thingy .so sianx
Ahboo's goin to vivo for jj .
jiayan probably stayin at home again.
mary at home too?
judy out wif her bunch of friends .
sianxation man . nowhere to go . best is to watch a movie n countdown inside.
haha,cool lei , countdown inside cinema,maybe we'll try tat out next year.

I WANNA go OUT !!!
But i got no money , if onli i have a million dollars . sianx
wan go out buy things , go play , go where-ever ,
except for staying at home sianx , nothing to do online oso .
cant watch you-tube , cant download songs , sianx lei .
btw i think the telephone lines are affected too ,
cos nobody seems to be replying my msgs ... hmph

Death-Note 2 ; the Last name
Went to watch " Death-note 2 : The last name " ytd .
Shiok man , but they cut alot of scenes from the manga itself.
There was suppose to be two successor after L's dead but they cut short the whole story into Kira dying before L did , cos L's suppose to die before kira .
In the end , kira was betrayed by his shinigami (death-god) Ryuk .
Thus the last name was Light (kira) . And L died a peaceful death .
If your IQ's not veri high , (i'm not pin-pointing on u) you might mot really understan the whole story , cos they cut short alot of things , so the inbetween, you have got to make sense all by yourself.
Below are the people and things that you can find in deathnote 2 :

The main cast of death-note 2

Light (kira)
The first person to get hold of the deathnote.
High IQ , and wants justice to be done in his own ways.

L .
Orphan.
World known dectective , but prefer to not disclose his identity.

Misa .
Second person to get hold of the deathnote .
Whole family gets killed by a robber.
Falls in love wif kira cos he helped to execute the robber.

DeathnoteS and Death GodS

Misa's and kira's death-note
Misa's death note belongs to the deathGod ( jealous )
Kira's death note belongs to the deathgod (Ryuk)

Kira's deathgod Ryuk .
LOves apples.
loves to laugh loudly .

Misa's deathgod Rem.
Female deathgod.
promise jealous to take care of misa.

Special Gadgets

L's secret base with tons of surveillance cameras and moniters inside the base , there's just no room for privacy i guess except the toilet. hahax , WAIT , is there a toilet first ??

Dont you think this is familiar? It's kira's secret gadget!!!! (just a watch la)
It can stuff a tiny piece of paper inside wif a small pen that uses blood as it's ink.
Real cool man, i wonder where can i get one of this . hahaX

hmmm. Think that's all for today .
anyway dont think anybody's reading it cos everybody's internet is down except for a few ppl ba ? so write so much oso no one see .
It will take another 3 weeks to repair the stupid cables i think .
errr .. when will anybody be online man ??
hmmm, hungry .. (grrrr )

Ytd was a mixed feeling . happy n sad .

i'm missing u , badly ...

it's really over

2006-12-26T19:12:00.000+08:00

I know it's really over le .
I can never have you back , anymore .
Your eyes and expressions told mi everything .
I dont even have any more chance, not even one .
Can i beg u , pls !! Not to hurt mi so deep ?
Can i ... jus ... can we jus ...
can i have one last chance ? please ... i beg u ...

I'm in pain, realli veri pain ...
i dreamed of you , every single night , dreamed of us still being together ,
but when i woke up, everythings gone . u're gone .
it's torturing me , do you know ?
i really cant take it anymore .
it's too painful , too torturing .

你怎么能，舍得让我这么的痛苦，这么的伤心。
难道以前的回忆，你一点也不想念吗？
难道说，你真的没有爱过我吗？
如果有，你怎么会舍得，怎么会不难过呢？
难道，以前所为你做的一切，都是假的吗？
你都没有感动过吗，都没有过吗？

Please save mi from the hell , that i'm in now .
i cant take it anymore .
i'm gonna collapse .
i cant take the pain anymore , i feel like dying .
save mi , before i die .
please . i beg u .

i need you , i will die , really will ...

X-mas eve

2006-12-24T16:32:00.000+08:00

从前只是回忆，回忆只有伤痛 .
伤痛变成麻木，麻木变成自闭 .
自我封闭的心，慢慢冻结起来 .
受伤后的心灵，永远不能痊愈 .
地球人的自私，让外星人失望 .
就在一夜只间，我败给了恶魔 .
恶魔使地球人，在瞬间变了心 .
愚蠢的地球人，希望和平存在 .
但是你分不清，爱与友情之差 .
和平并不平静，受伤的心不静 .
只是你选择的，是逃避与不听 .

This was what i came up wif , after seeing yr blog jus nw.
after seeing that last sentence ,
my tear drop , i dunno why ...
perhaps , i still yearn for smth tat does not belong to me rite from the start .
i cherish , protect , care and love ... still ...
it's gone ... gone so far away from me .

i WISh i could PReTend tat noThing has happened ,
i reali wished tat i could , but i CANT .
i try NOT to think , not to reminisce , not to DReam
i wished i could run away from all this .
i really wished this could end , all could end .
but i cant . it wont . it never will .

Still remember this song ?
i cried everynight while listening , even now .
remember last year ? where we were ?
at least , last year , u're still mine , and i was still in yr haRt .
if i could , i wished tat we could go back to that time .
but , i know it's immpossible ... nvm .

i felt so lonely ...

2006-12-23T00:06:00.000+08:00

Time Check: 12.06 am
It's just 7 mins ago , that was chin yee's birthday .
(Below are the details tat happen b4 and after the party )

Task : A SteamBoat for the unsuprized chin yee !!
Members: Jiayan , judy (she's not here today) , mary , ahbOo and Me!!
Venue: Mary 's house
Time : 7 pm

Preparations before the Not Very SupRised Party !!
-1 pm
We set off to meet each other at Pioneer Mall , giant.
Mary reached first , followed by me , then jiayan . ( ahbOo n rest MIA)
Started to choose all the ingredients for the steamboat .
Start to chat about wat to wat for our lunch ( mi and jiayan)
Decided to cook nooDles (My fAV ) and tang yuan .
Pay up at cashier . Total amount : $31.50

-3pm
Left pioneer mall , walk to the nearest bus-stop to take 242 to mary's hse.
Reach mary house , n started eating tang yuan at mary hse (cooked by her ahma) NIcee
started PreParing my lunch , done by jiayan (singled-handed) thanks = )
started to prepare ingredients (chop,chop,chop,cut,cut cup,slice,slice,slice)

-4pm
Finish eating my lunch (wif alot of liao and FISHBALLS )
Finish preparing the steamboat stuff
Went to mary's room, they watched vcd while i played my PSP, haha (this lasted all the way till 6.30 pm )

-7pm
started to boil the steamboat soup base
tat sotong chin yee arrived ...
we started to eat while watching ch u at the same time
Laughed all the wat to 8.30 pm
cleared the table

-9pm
watch DBSK in mary room while i played my fav psp game again hahaX
they laugh n laugh , so loud lo , luckily i wore earpiece . hahaX
watched till 10 pm, jiayan went home.

-10pm
continue watching the sTupid DBsk thingy , then suddenly!!! my psp no batt le!! shit !!
so they continue to watch the stupid thingy until 11 pm
Suddenly !! the show " supernatural " was on ch 5, DEBUT!! OMG!!
so scary lo, ask mary quickly switch to another channel, then she there slowly slowly, luckily i ran outta the room FAST enough !! haha

-11.30pm
reach home ....

i wanna to hug you badly .... so badly

4 days to X-mas

2006-12-21T09:27:00.000+08:00

Jus another boring day without a job .

Man , how long do i have to be unemployed ? Anyway , i'm lazy la . hah
Hais , tomorrow is tat " sotong " chin yee's birthday ,
And " WE " so called the good FrienS are planning a "not Very SupriSed birthday party - Cum - stEamboat " cos to my disappointment , they have no wish to SUPRISE HER ?!?! hmmm ... nvm then .. cos she already had enough of suPrizEs in her life ?!?! haHaZ = )

4 Days to Christmas man ...
This year we've BECOME more clever , cos WE ARE NOT GOING TO ORCHARD ANYMORE !!!
We're not so stupid to go there to get SQuExXE anyMORe !!! HAHAx
This time we're going over to mary hse to celebrate !! Woohoo!!
" Wif log cakes , fried foods , turkey maybe ,and alot of stuff to EAT !! hahaX
Wat's even more BEtteR than stayin indooRs and EAT to Yr Fill MAn??
HahaX . " jus keep eating , jus keep eating , jus keep eating ..... "

hahAx . Btw , BOo Wenlingg , to yr veri much Anticipated " JJ's LIVe Concert "
I'll now AnnOuce yr VerDict !! That is ..... (drums rolling ~~~ )

............................................................................
............................................................................. ( drums rollinggg )
............................................................................ (drums still rolling ..)
.........................................................................
..................................................................... ( spot light shinning .... )
............................................................................
............................................................................ (drums not rollingg )
.................................................................... ( TA DA )

IT'S NOT SINGAPORE VERSION ONE !!!
sorry to disappoint u gal , But The concert DVD jus aS NOT u hav EXpeCted , it's from SHangHai one !! If u don believe check this website out : www.jjlin.name
hmmm ... i doubt any artist will have DVD concerts out in "singapore " ??
so sOrry ~ to burSt your bEautiful DrEam of tt singApore Concert ...
But Cheerup , he's still RETURNING back to singapore wat?? Rite?
so Don be sAd la , k ? hehX ; )

hmmm ... i'm still missing u loads .
still not used to how u're treating mi .
suan le . it's over le bahs . i guess .

my love for yuu , does not ends here ...

2006-12-19T22:02:00.000+08:00

I dunno wat's wrong with us ?

U've changed , entirely change to another person tat i don noe.
U're no longer the yuu , i used to know ...
Probably u would say , i changed alot too ...
maybe ... we're all not us ...

Why have we become like tat ? It's so sudden? no signal , no signs , no warnings ...
Or perhaps , i just didnt notice ...
i failed to notice u're drifting so far away from mi ..
although u're physically so near to mi ...
i'm jus too naive ... too inNocent ...
IN BELIEVING ALL THOSE PROMISES U MADE OR SAID!!
U said before ... " although i cant prevent the scar from happening , but i'll stop it from becoming worser "
" i'll try to love yuu back , if there's ever a day , i stopped loving yuu "
" my love for yuu , last till the day after foRever "

Wat The?!? Haha , ridiculous ... U NV LOVED MI BEFORE !!
Am i rIght?? hmmm ... only stupiD foOls will believe in all thoSe ..
And I"M tat stUpid idiot foOl ... reali stupid indeed ...
huMans are clever indeed ... no wonder aliens want human's brains
aliens have no emotions ... no feelings ... no memOries ..
deAd . Jus like mi .

that stupid alien tot ... maybe it could still savage smth between tat human ..
it tot it's not entirely over ...
cos it tot huMans hav feelings and memOries ...
it was wRong ... so damn wrOng !!
mEmories and feElings are jus fragile and easily fOrgotten .
how can one not think of the past ?
cos huMans HATE past ! huMans onli look foRward to future .
disregarding anything about their past . cos they hav no heArt .

... dropping tears of blood ...

i miss yr kiss ...

2006-12-18T19:13:00.000+08:00

No job AGAIN !!!

Hmmm ... went for job interview today , it's at chin bee drive and cresent .
factory job , but crazy lo , it's from 8 am-7 pm . 11 HOURS lei !! And it's $4 p/h
SIAO !!! Such long hours , one day $40 onli cos -1 hour to eat. SIAO !!!
hais ... think have to look for other jobs le ba ..

Anyway , seems like alot of events are gonna take place soon . Chinyee's birthday comin , X-mas eve and Christmas , then later countdown ...
hmmm , So many things to do , sO many things to buy ...
yet ..... sO little time .... So little money
hAhax ^_^

I really feel like hugging u ...
but i cant ...
felt so restricted ...
wanna kiss u badly ...
that's even more impossible ...
i wan u , i wan u badly ...

Raining the whole day again ... sian
everywhere oso so wet ...
stop awhile then rain again ... hais ...
"rain rain go away ... better is dont come again .. "
haha no la, how can don ever rain , then rain's fans will die !!

hahaX @_@

I WAN A KISS !!!

i WANT , i Reali want la ... even a doggy oso got other dog kiss lei..
am i even reali WOrse than a dog??

Sianx ... everyday stay at home and rot ...
nobody care about mi anyway ...
aiya .. everyday update hor ... oso no one bother to see and comment??!!

P.s: sorry if i treated u badly today as in i shouted at u this afternoon...
sorry ~ reali sorriEs ~~

The world is selfish ... so are humans ...
care only for themselves , think only about themselves ...
love is so fragile ... isn't it? It'll be gone ... in a flash of time , where everythin would just become mEmOrieS ...

InnoCent and Naive humans ... even these meMories are fragile and easily forgotten ... wat are the brain n hart for ?!?
useless human beings ... no wonder aliens want to take over this selfish planet ..
erase the memories of men ... cos they don even know what are memoRies ..
how ridiculous ...

i miss yr kiss .....

hmmm..

2006-12-17T15:41:00.000+08:00

Y didnt u accept mi ?
I've always love yuu ... yuu know? hmmm ...
我不是在跟你开玩笑 ... 我是认真的 ...

Hmm, raining whole day today .
i remember u once said : " i dont like raining season, cos there's bound to be smth bad happening ."
Hmm , i wonder if it still does happen?
It's raining heavily now u know ...

Anyway ... played pangya again .. haha . Guess wat??
I know wat's the prob wif the pangya sys le ... and now i'm Officially AbuSing the sys ... haha ..
so i have 30000 pangs in my acc and 20000 plus pangs in my new acc !! haha !! And that's not all , after the promotion , there wil be even MORE A-cash !! YES , more!! i est. to ard 15000 A-cash tat i'll be receiving, so happy!! Haha .. hey, ma when my a-cash is in .. tel mi wat u wan .. i buy for u k?

heheX =)

NO JOB AR !!!!
Hmmm ... actually wan find job wif u tmr .. but u like not interested ...
so nvm then ..
Wan find job wif mama ... then she workin at her hubby there .. sob
so ... guess i'll have to zi li gen sheng !!
sianz .. stay at home all day ..
if onli could have strike lottery or smth like tat ...
then can stay at home and slack !! haha ...

hmmm ... wat u doin nw? Always e same qtn everidae ..
but i'm curious ..
jus wanna know ...
but ... i ........... nvm ...

Big heavy rain ... could wash away everything ...
but never my love for u ...

i still do ...

2006-12-16T15:12:00.000+08:00

Hmmm , just another boring day . I wanna WORK!! But somehow there's no job?!?
Aiya , jus lazy to go find jobs, why dont jobs come find us? HAHa!!
Hmmm, next year dunno wan go where, hais ... will yr decision affect my still? I dunno ...
hmmm ... boRingsss ~

It's been a week ... hmmm, i wonder if u miss mi? No ba..
Cos u're always so busy doing other stuff ..
guess u already got adapted to it ... rite?
I guess , perhaps it's alright for u to do without mi ,
cos u know ... when u reali need mi ... i'll be there .. for sure ..
but when i need u, reali need u ... u wont be there .. i know ..
i guess it's still the same to u rite? kinda of nth has changed ...
maybe ...

Btw , my ma, ah boo, hais ... to my VERI eXtrEme disappoinment ...
SHE QUITED!!!

OmG!! hais .. she said the person there bully her !! cos she's new there, she cant possibly memorise everithin over there at one shot rite?? But this dunno siao gal said to the customer : " oh, she's new here, so she most probably dunno or forgot ?!? " WAT THE !! she's FIRST day at work lei , u expect her to know or rem EVERY sinGle thin meh?? SIao ar !!
I think, most probably, tat siao gal thinks my ma is too pretty haha, so she cant take it, mus like tat say her , wah kao!! haha ...

Hmmm, i think tat pangya system has some probs!?! Cos there's a new scheme called "refer a new player and u can get more money" thus i refer my bro, and i created a new acc myself , to earn more "pangs" (money in pangya lang). Then, when my bro n my new acc reach "Rookie C" (min. to get the extra pangs)
I didnt get the pangs?? then shorty, i get it, then everitime i switch in between my two acc , my pangs increase automatically ??!?! Hmmm ... nvm then, cos it's good anyway, HAHA !!

Anyway , this is my latest character , Max . Cool rite?

Don feel strange abt y he's holding a tennis racket instead of a golf club.
Cos he's an ex tennis player , haha ... guess he loved tennis more than golf ba??

Wat are u doin nw? Wanted to msg u badly, but ...
i dunno wat to msg u ...
i dunno wat shd i say ...
i dunno if u'll reply ...
i dunno ...

Anyway can u reali sleep without yr mp3 ? It's kinda hard to fall asleep ba?
sorry~ but u're just so not free ... hmmm ... nvm then

i still do ....

i miss u still...

2006-12-15T18:08:00.000+08:00

Hmmm... sianz.. nothin to do at home ..
felt so lonely, so empty .. without u ... hais ..

Wanted to look for jobs today, bought the newspaper, flipped through a few pages of the "recruit" then didnt have the will and mood to continue le..
WHY?? Cos probably i'm jus not used to it,not used to looking for jobs alone .. not used to u not beside mi ...
i dont wanna get used to it either ..

Hmmm,wanted to look u up earlier, but yr mum was at home, nvm then ..

Played "Pangya" the whole day,finally got BeginnEr D le.
"Pangya" = Massive online multiplayer game, Golf game in fantasy realm.
Okay, maybe the word "goLf" might shun u off, BUT, it's not abt the golf!?!?
Haha, cos they got reali cute characters .. so jus like any other online games, don bother abt wat the game's trying to do, jus dress up yr character the way u want! So if u're interested go to www.pangyasea.com

BUT , if u dont have the patience to wait, then yuu better don play, cos it's kinda slow waiting for other's turn ...

Hmmm, my ma, ahboo got wOrk le, FINALLY man, haha.
if u read her blog, u will noe how fast she got the job, but she didnt want any ppl to know where she's workin?? Probably she tot is too embarassing ba?? or shd i say she's afraid of bumping into familiar faces?? Hmm, but it's not some kind of illegal stuff, jus ...... haha, i'm not telling u wat is it...
hmmm, her pay quite good eh ... $1000 over ... but it's permanent la. HAha..
Hmmm, ma workin, then jiu nobody chat wif mi le .. sianz ... nobody's ard ..

I ALSO WAN A JOB !!!

Hmmm, think i'm findin factory job ba .. do a few weeks or a month at least, then go for the golden travel thin (dunno have a not) haha.. cos factory pay quite good, jus have to wake up abit more earlier .. hais .. sian..
hungry... hmmm

i'm still missing u ... badly

I still love u...

2006-12-14T10:33:00.001+08:00

Yesterday was our 17th months anniversary..

But it was not like before.. cos yr hart doesnt have mi anymore
i could have,or i should have beg u not to leave mi.. but i wont..
cos i'm already dead in yr hart, no point having a corpse beside u rite?
If u're reali more relaxed and happy this way...

I'll let u go... i'm serious...

i dont want u to be stress, i dont want to see yr tears...
jus promise mi.. u'll be happy

and i'll respect yr decision...
and i'll be contented...

i dont want u to feel guilty, sorry... jus wan u to be happy..
i'll still love u no matter what...

在你的心中，希望还记得有我
永远守着我的承诺... 在等候 ...

I'm hurt..

2006-12-11T10:38:00.000+08:00

Are u really happy wif wat we are nw? I know u dowan any commitments,at least not wif mi rite?Do yuu know how badly i wan to hug u tightly,but it's not the same anymore.. 有好几次我都好想亲你，可是我不能...

U're torturing mi,do u know?u still hold my hands,hit mi,bite mi,and u still get jealous when i buy things for her.. y?

i'm reali pain... can u .. can we...
... jus be like in the past?

i always thot our love was as tough as ice,but it melts as fast as it..
cos u nv tried to keep it from meltin... u neVer!!
u jus dowan to put in any effort,cos it's not yr business rite?
"who cares rite?" it's gonna end someday or other rite?
WHAT bullShit!!! if u're thinkin like tat,y wan mi in the beginning?? cos u wanna torture mi? HUH?? i'm NOT yr toy,i'm not for u to PLAy!!!
everytime u're hurt by thoSe bAstards,who's there to console u?cheer u up
WhO?? whiCh idiot?? and when i'm hurt? who's there?? no one!!

I live in a damN pathetic world.. where no one cares for others!! at least not mi!! maybe cos i'm pathetic too!! take mi away from this hell..

let mi die faster...
quicker...
NOW!!

without yuu,i might as well die.. i mean it

2006-12-09T11:42:00.000+08:00

现在我只想
回到最初的时候
不愿让你在泪流
寂寞之后
只有你会陪着我
现在我只想
回到最初的时候
我知道你还爱着我
亲爱的你
请你握紧我的手
请你看看我
真的需要你的我
只要你回头

>>>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<<<<

只要能够远远这样看着你

就算伤心心里还是好想你

只要能够静静这样陪着你

就算分手还是选择喜欢你

我好希望我会忘记说
再见的声音
我不再回忆也不再伤心

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

应该放晴的天气
还下雨别这样下去
我难过但是说不出口

可不可以别回头
可不可以就放手

可不可以不作你的朋友....

2006-12-09T11:28:00.000+08:00

U say u felt great ytd,like having a big burden thrown off(said by mi).. u felt more ease,more relax...i felt terrible.. u were mine.. two days ago.. and now,hugging u seems so hard..

i know wat u want,u want mi as yr friend,yr BEST frien.. jus like i've guessed..
but i dowan..

u wan mi by yr side,but not as yr lover,
as yr frien..

i feel terrible,i dunnow wat to do,and stop sayin sorry,as if it's gonna savage anythin??
u're not mi,u wont know how i felt!!
u once said,u wont stop lovin mi,if that ever happens,u'll try to love mi back again..

innocent and naive,i thought...
how can that be possible?

perhaps u nv loved mi before...
ask yr heart truefully..
honesty...

was i even there before?

kiLL mi for godsake,let mi die fasTer,less pain,less sorrow.. no more tears..

It' over

2006-12-08T09:14:00.000+08:00

It's all over...

in the end,i guessed the ending..

maybe i shouldnt have ask the qtn,then maybe we would still be together..
but i know clearly..

i died in yr hart a long long time ago

i dont know how i shd feel...
shd i cry?
shd i act as if nth happen?
shd i ......

die?

my hart has no feelins....

i guess it's dead ....

brOken-hArt

2006-12-07T10:41:00.000+08:00

Hmmm,finally saw my precious ytd,hmmm,but i was kinda disappointed cos when she saw mi,i didnt see the missing of mi in her eyes like last time.She talk to mi as if we are jus normal friends.....so cold her words... hit my heart,so hard,so pain... Her eyes kinda betrayed her,it was not like before anymore. Every movement,every word,every heartbeat.... was not like before..

I guessed i died in her ....

maybe.. i wasnt even there before.. unlike others who at least stayed there for awhile.. i didnt even reach there,probably i almost did.... almost...

a pair of cold hands...
a pair of cold eyes...
that cold hug...
those cold words...

does it reali meant "over"

sick...

2006-12-04T18:05:00.000+08:00

Hais.... sick today! fever plus bad sore-throat and coughing. Hmmm,my deardear oso sick,ben lai want ask deardear bring mi go see doc,but she oso sick,so in the end,we both stayed at home. Hmmm,i want go work,no money!!but now sick,hais,how to go for interview. So sian,so stayed at home play pangya the whole day.. sian.. head veri heavy..

Deardear baobei,i miss u veri much lei,plus today is 4 DAYS nv see u le... GOSH,how can? Gao bu hao,tmr oso cant see u,hais..dear i wan u..

dear rem to eat more apples k?

1st entry

2006-12-03T11:44:00.000+08:00

hmmm, i never see my precious for three whole days le,hais. Lately,she's been 24/7 wif her family. I know that's good but she's been 7/24 wif mi instead! (70 mins a day,24 hours a week) Hais, why like that lei? I also dunno..

Her head's hurting her badly,resulting in she refusing to go out of the house or anywhere else. I BITE her head, YES literally bite her head IN-aCCcidently while we were on the escalator!! haha,sorry precious,for hurting yr head.My front tooth NEARLY came out u know?!! haha,but it's still okay as compared to dear's head. Sorry !!

Hmmm.i want a JOB!! dowan to stay at home due to all those RUBBISH that's goin on.. hais..
GIVE MI A JOB,AND I WANNA START ASAP!! i'm lazy to go down for interview too actually,haha.. but i'm reali BROKE le.. even a beggar would be richer than mi!! haha

just finish watching "final fantasy the advent children"
NICE, but not worth buying unless u're a crazy fan of Final fantasy,anyway i didnt buy it cos it's in jap so i watched the FULL video on www.veoh.com haha.. yeah, it's A FULL VIDEO,much better as compared to youtube,but they have limited videos there,but u can like upload a whole movie up!! wow!!go take a look!! haha

cloud and tifa, my fav!!

i like those eyes of his..

Hmmm,first time blogging,all this stuff seemed kina complicated to mi,but think i'll get the hang of it after a few more tries,haha. Alot has happened these few days,esp ytd,but i don wanna talk abt it,gonna get toothaches opps i meant HEAdaches haha.. hmmm,if onli we can live in the fantasy world.